“I’m curious.
How do you deal with the Fear of Being seen?”
There’s a lot of questions, comments, ideas, & opinions shared online that we see at an endless pace. Usually, we scroll on by.
But when I read Andy ( ✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️) ‘s note here on Substack, pondering that question, I paused. And I was eager to join in the conversation.
This was my reply:
I love this question.
I relate so deeply with this especially having lifelong experience feeling so different from others. I’ve noticed that it helps when the people I’m being seen by are people I feel are kindred spirits, warm, or seemingly non judgmental.
It’s really hard to feel comfortable being seen by people who you know won’t really get you. I’ve also had to learn (through experience) over the years that not everybody needs access to my vulnerability.
I’ve shared stories with people that I now wish I hadn’t because I didn’t allow myself to pause and pay attention to how my body felt. I think we’re allowed to choose who sees the deeper parts of ourselves. I also notice that really seeing & accepting myself helps lighten a bit of the heaviness of insecurity.
One example that comes to mind- when I first started my podcast last year it was nearly unbearable for me to listen back to my own voice. I was so judgmental of myself & noticed so many things that I felt I did wrong. But I had to listen so I could edit the episodes. (Most were with guests but I also do solo!)
After a while, I naturally began to accept how I sound, the fact that I lose my train of thought during conversations because of the pressure of the moment, that I am imperfect. And now I actually kind of love listening back.
After our exchange over on Andy’s Substack note, I knew I wanted to dive deeper. We had a lovely conversation on my podcast, 20 Year Old Butterfly, and I know it’s going to be a treat for you to listen to, as it was for us to chat. ✨
There’s more layers than a 12 layer cake 🍰 but the core of it is sweet
Vulnerability and being seen, especially for those of us that have spent a large portion of our lives feeling different from everyone around us, is a layered, multifaceted experience.
There are so many elements to it.
As we chat about in the episode, there can be dissociation from ourselves within ourselves, anxiety that exists deep within the body, an environment of people who aren’t the right people to be open with - even the act of someone LOOKING at us with their eyes can bring up a multitude of emotions.
It’s something I have an intimate, yet messy and confusing, relationship with and I wonder if you relate?
At the same time, I have experienced the sweet gifts that vulnerability (in the right circumstances) brings into our lives as humans who dream of deep connection. Also, for those of us that are really good at keeping everything tightly shut inside, or dealing with emotional pain all by ourselves, being vulnerable is sometimes the thing that relieves us of years of pain.
And sometimes vulnerability means the light parts too. Sharing even though it might come out awkward or imperfect. Embracing our weirdness and letting it be known. Dressing how we want to dress even if we’re judged. Rejecting the norm in little acts of courage.
We dove deep - with stories I’ve never shared - and a conversation on the multi facets of being seen 🌼
Whether you’re an entrepreneur putting your creativity and ideas out into the uncertain online or real world - or a sensitive human whose watered yourself down to fit into a societal mold, this episode is for you, and it’s out for you to listen to now ✨
Listen to this week’s episode here on Apple & here on Spotify !!! 🎧
Yay!! See you every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or right here on Substack! 🦋
Let’s connect with each other! 🩷
Connect with Andy:
Highly Sensitive Woman - Substack
Connect with me (Bailey!) :
Read where the name 20 Year Old Butterfly comes from!
Explore my new website in-progress 🌼
(Music) Stock Media provided by marcozannone / Pond5
Sending love to you! 🦋
Bailey
