It's everything you ever want

When will performing turn into living if we turn our lives into the performance?

“It’s everything you ever want
It’s everything you ever need
And it’s here right in front of you
This is where you wanna be”

-song lyrics from The Greatest Show in The Greatest Showman

Hi my friend :) I usually don’t write to you beyond my weekly digital letters but today I just couldn’t wait.

You might recognize those lyrics from the popular movie. I was searching endlessly for something to watch today and it just popped into my head to rewatch The Greatest Showman. When I heard those lines in the beginning sequence it struck me the connection between those words and the online world. 💡

Before I start this letter/chat/conversation with you, I want you to know I both love and hate the internet & social media. I think there are a million benefits and a million harmful effects. What I’d like to share about isn’t even ‘the dangers of social media.’ We know them, we get them, the internet lives on. I’d like to talk about what we’re built for as humans, what’s worth it, and what we’re choosing to believe.

“It’s everything you ever want” 🌟

I mentioned in my last letter that I’ve been feeling a little lost. I’ve started my new entrepreneurial & creative venture, and with that I’ve returned to Instagram. And it’s felt weird. I’ve been in the world of using social media for my small businesses for years & years & years. I’ve had an account with 65K, another with 10K, and many others. I’ve explored how to use social media as a tool to create community and also money. But this time I’m older and have gone through even more change & am sharing in a much more vulnerable way than before: my poetry, mental health stories & advice, the depths and joys of creativity, a lot of… ME.

I’ve been pondering heavily the questions of:

• Am I built as a human to have an online following

• Am I built as a human to use social media

• Is it worth it when there are other ways?

I’m not going to fully dive into those things at this moment because what I really want to talk about is what we’re being sold through direct & subliminal messaging. People all over the world, especially my generation, are shouting from the rooftops that social media has changed their lives and can change yours too- while simultaneously shouting that social media isn’t real.

Something I should add- please take in what I write with an intention of no shame. I am just sharing what I’ve noticed :)

Plus the people creating these spaces are saying & promoting the same.

This all feels like another example of society wanting everyone to be the same, operate the same, want the same things and go down the same path.

And it’s sooo easy now for people, including very young people, to get not a glimpse of, but a full experience of fame. And not only fame like paparazzi shouting and screaming and following you type of fame- but stardom that lives in your hand. In your house. In your morning routine.

It’s kind of scary right?

For people who want to create a business & share something with the world, it’s heavily marketed that social media is THE tool to do that. And in a lot of ways it is. But at the same time it’s a tool. One tool. A strategy, a piece of a puzzle. It’s certainly not the only way. And it’s certainly not what we might truly want.

“It’s everything you ever need” 🎉

There are so many times over the past few years where I got this feeling in my stomach. I can’t quite conjure how to describe it in this moment because I haven’t felt it for a while- but it was the feeling that the joys or activities I was experiencing weren’t valid enough or didn't count unless it was shared on social media.

I got rid of my social media accounts for a long period of time, including after I took a break from running businesses, yet I still had that feeling.

I also notice that I tend to grab my phone in times of loneliness. When I feel alone, my brain immediately thinks of Instagram, which, as you probably know, does not help create true connection in moments of feeling alone but instead numbs the emotion.

We spend more time watching other people live their lives, than living ours. Isn't that sad? Again, I’m not shaming myself or you at all. We’re human beings and we are not and do not have to be perfect. But it feels sad inside. Isolating.

It feels like a lot of people are using social media to receive basic human needs like connection, validation, being seen but we can’t get the true essence of any of those things through a little rectangular device. 📱

“And it’s here right in front of you. This is where you wanna be” ❤️

It’s like we’re in a circus. In a world of make-believe. In an attention seeking playground. Exit the masquerade to see we’re all drowning in a sea.

I spontaneously wrote that little poem haha. Usually I handwrite my poetry in my journal and then type it but that one just flowed out!

Like I mentioned before I do not hate the internet. There are parts of it I love. I have met and gotten to connect with people through social media that have changed my life & people that I’m so grateful to now know. But I can’t stand this facade that social media and the internet and online and screens are pure magic and you need to take the opportunity and embrace it.

Anything that promises everything is- well, a show. A performance.

And we’re the ones performing.

We are the characters. We are the actresses. We are the stagehands, the camera crew, the boom operators, the hosts, the speakers, the ensemble, the lead. It’s us. In this digital world.

Is it worth it?

When will performing turn into living if we turn our lives into the performance?

So… there’s a look inside my head. Haha.

Anyways, that’s what I’ve been thinking about. That’s what those 4 lines in The Greatest Showman inspired me to chat to you about today.

🩷

Sending you love & moments where you can breathe

Bailey