Did you know you can grieve a tree?

You can live a beautiful life full of the littlest moments ✨

Have you ever grieved something that doesn’t fit into the typical idea of grief?

A memory, a person still here but no longer intertwined with your life, a trait you once had that you feel far away from now, a butterfly, - or perhaps, a big old wise tree?

Also, hi to friends new and old! I’m Bailey, if you didn’t know. It’s nice to have you here.

The most important and best innate ability we have as humans is our emotions. Our ability to care, to feel deeply, to CRAVE a meaningful life. Not everybody seems to have that in the forefront of their minds - certainly not the people with the loudest voices or largest presence’s in our society. But that doesn't mean you can’t.

*featuring a sticker from Elise Powers of her beautiful poetry book, The Size Of Your Joy!*

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time, from one of my favorite shows of all time, This Is Us.

I want it to seep in in this moment for you, even through the typical numbness of our screens. So I’ll write it again below, and embed some instrumental music from the show, to accompany you as you read. Just click the ‘play’ button ▶️ and it’ll play as you read.

“That’s what we’re doing, just collecting these little moments. We don’t recognize them when we’re in them, because we’re too busy looking forward. But then we spend the rest of our lives looking back, trying to remember.”

I was sitting outside today, pondering this. Thinking about my favorite tree (pictured below) who got cut down about 3 years ago. How I still think of him everytime I go outside to sit on my porch, ponder, wonder, dream, feel, write. He watched me discover my love of poetry writing in real time. He kept me company through COVID, throughout all of my questions and sadness and anger and fear and isolation and change.

In a world that has fallen deeply in love with the “big moments” the celebrations, anniversaries, holidays, promotions, age ‘milestones’ - all of it, I feel called to repeatedly name these small sparkles of joy and connection as the true source of meaning and fulfillment.

I can feel it. And if you resonate with what I am saying now, I assume you are someone who feels it too.

You could spend your whole life living for the grandest times and experiences, rushing to the next external achievement, running towards the finish line of whatever race you’re competing in.

Only to realize your whole life, was the time in between. The moments before and after the “big” things. The experiences on the way.

I don’t want to do that. Do you?

It takes practice. It takes effort. It takes knowing and accepting that you are living in a way that our society was not designed for, that many people don’t have the space for. Yet you can do it anyways.

You can live the way you were always meant to live. Imperfectly, un-anesthetically, creating your own rules for ‘fitting in,’ and not only noticing, but CHERISHING every tiny moment of bliss, of peace, of connection, of meaning, of love, of joy, of kindness, of change, of time. All of which are magic.

That’s what my favorite tree taught me. I loved him then, and I will always think of him.

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Here’s a poem featured in my book, 20 Year Old Butterfly. I wrote it after they cut my favorite tree down. 🦋

It was like he never even existed
Like he wasn’t even real
Like a piece of my imagination
There for me to feel

Because his presence was unmatched
By the way he simply be
And he watched me experience
Different human little things

For his ears were quite different
From yours or mine
Listening with an overflow of love
Wore them out over time

And people walked right past him
Without even a care
For they assumed he wasn’t listening
Through his present stare

But none of it mattered
In the eyes of him
For he was there even spite
His loss of hearing

And he was grounded in life
His roots infused with home
And his greatest gift he ever shared
Was showing me I’m not alone

But when I think of all the treasures
And miracles he did
Am I talking about my gone tree friend
Or my dear old grandfather Sid 🌳

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You can live a life without edits, filters, masks. That’s how I wrote the poetry in my book - no edits. Whatever I expressed in the moment, was exactly as I left it. You can explore my book more here if you’d like, my website is a pretty enchanted place to wander & stroll around ✨

How did you feel reading this? If any thing came to mind, I’d love to hear. You can hit ‘reply’ in email or write in the comments, I’m looking forward to chatting with you 💓

Love,

Bailey